Well it’s about that time again….time for a new blog entry. Anyone with access to blogs or social media has been exposed to the latest “Revenge Fest” going on by wives/ex-wives of athletes, entertainers, and celebrities. So at first glance, I’m like ok, cool….you reap what you sow. So if at some point in your relationship, you broke your vows, or you betrayed your partner, or even led them astray, then this is only getting that same crop. But then, as with all things social media, there began to be an extreme emphasis on bringing the spouse or ex DOWN…not just with putting them “on blast” in an interview or two…but now we are going to court and suing folks, making videos and uploading them onto the WORLD WIDE WEB. Both examples are open and available for public viewing, indefinitely, so basically, what you say today, lasts forever. Please do not get me wrong, or misunderstand, I have been HURT, disappointed, deceived, led astray, and out right LIED TO. BUT, in all of that, and in all of my anger, the thought of causing that person pain (in whatever form), didn’t make me feel better…not permanently. Sure, the thought of making them feel the pain I’m feeling SOUNDS appealing, but here’s the catch: We are all individuals, and we all react differently. So your BEST laid plans to make them miserable, can be used to BETTER the person you are trying to destroy.
I learned the biggest and best lesson about “Letting GO” from my mother. My mother experienced the worst pain a young woman in love could possible experience. She fell in love with a man that loved her selfishly. So while my mother was taking care of her new child, and preparing for marriage, her fiance’ was starting a new life with another woman. So she has a child with this man, loves this man, wants this man, and yet, he walks away. I don’t exactly know what her reactions were (I was 10 mos old), but I don’t ever remember her being angry. Anyone that knew my mother knew that she had the sweetest spirit. Yes she was upset, and yes she no longer trusted him, but what she DID NOT do, was allow his actions to control her emotions and reaction. I’m sure there were many nights that she cried herself to sleep over the things he’d done to her, but that was between her and God. What I respect most about my mother is the way she handled adversity. She never allowed people to get into her spirit and distract her from what was important to her. (If I could get about 5% of that, I’d be AWESOME…lol). I wish I could share this lesson to some of the women that are in the media, obsessed (yes, that’s the word…not angry or “scorned”) with their exes. I just want to tell them to go to God with their worries and issues, and leave them there. Of course I’m single as the day is long, and there will be people that say I’m not qualified to speak on the covenant of marriage…and that may be true. But what I am, and do have, is experience with life and anger. No matter what form, pissed off is pissed off….and we all have to learn how to handle and control our emotions.
What bothers me most is the level that some of the ladies are descending to in order to “prove” that there ex is no good. Ok, and then what? There’s a good chance that everyone knew that BUT YOU. Or maybe you knew, and took those vows anyway….so where is your responsibility in that? Either way, what does that do for you? Once it’s out, and once you give the SAME interview 50-11 times, then what? Do you feel better because of the names you called him, or does that hole in your heart still ache? Do you really feel pity on the “new wife”, or do you envy her? I just don’t understand. Because if I’m truly upset with someone, why would I give them free publicity? What I’m trying to say ladies, is we are the matriarchs of our family….we are the first teachers to our children…we MUST show them that despite what happens to us, we can always choose to RISE ABOVE. Of course I’m not saying that ANY type of abuse should be tolerated, but what I am saying is that we can choose how to deal with these situations. We can be examples of God’s teachings on adversity. One thing we are promised is trials and tribulations….you can’t spend your life fighting battles that do not belong to you. LET IT GO….
No comments:
Post a Comment