When Life Happens

When Life Happens

Hey Ya’ll! *Britney Spears Voice* LOL. It’s been a minute since I’ve written a blog. A lot is going on right now. Life is definitely happening for me. I’m not sure what the end result will be, but I do know that once again, I’m being transformed into a different person. I’m being grown and my skin is shedding. For a person who gets very comfortable in who she is, this is a very, very scary time for me. I’m not a person who has a lot of fear, but when things become topsy turvy in my life, and I don’t know where I’m going or how I’m getting there, I’m scared as hell!

Outside of trying to embark on a new journey career-wise and life wise, God is teaching me a lot about whom I depend on in times of trouble and need. Of course we all like to say that we seek God first, and for some of us, that’s true, but it’s also great to have a set of sister-friends or homeboys that you can vent to, cry to, serve, and be served. I’m a very giving person by nature…in fact, my entire family is that way. We are very self-less, and where there is a need, we strive to meet that need…now you might get cussed out depending on the situation, but hey, at least the need was met. LOL. The problem is that when you have a heart to give, and do so freely, you can end up very vulnerable to those that don’t have that same spirit. Everyone is not the same, and God created us that way intentionally, however, he also created the Body of Christ so that we could be of service and be served by each other. In other words, this walk ain’t a one-way street…to whom much is given, much is required. I have to admit that I’m struggling with that right now. Some of the people that I expected to be in my corner and cheering me on, have become a bit silent, and those that I never dreamed to be compassionate have knocked me on my feet. I was blown away when a proclaimed non-believer of Christ showed me incredible, God-like compassion while I was “goin thru”. I battled with that…because although I know that God is amazing and can do works in so many ways, but at the same time, what was going on with the folks around me who were believers and who KNOW what I’m trying to do? Why did I feel so disconnected from them? Of course I know that they love me, but I felt like they really didn’t understand my place in life. It’s difficult to be in relationship with someone, and not understand each other’s needs. Regardless of the type of relationship, one should never take for granted that they “know” what the other person needs, is going through, or needs to let go of.

Because I trust my Pastor completely, I had a discussion with him about everything that’s going on in my life, and how overwhelmed I was feeling. He was able to get me to understand that my issues weren’t with the actual situations that I was facing, but the hurt I was feeling by the people I held close to my heart. Their response (or lack thereof) was the most difficult part to get over. Mainly because there is never a time when someone has to ASK me for anything. If I know that you need something, and I have the ability to meet that need, then I will. That is my nature. While I understand that is MY nature, I’ve learned that at times, I require reciprocity. I need someone to hear my cry and wipe the tears. I don’t expect someone to be or do as I would, because we are all individuals, but when life happens, and the walls start to close in, you need a support system to not only pray for you, and with you, but to spring you into action. Sometimes you don’t need anything tangible, but just a clear head and a sound mind to direct your path. So for that, I’m eternally grateful.

And because I DO have those people in my life that challenge me, and help me spring into action, I’m able to see clearly…I’m able to see past the emotions I’m feeling, and actually get some stuff done. And to top it all off, I have some folks that have picked up the pom poms and are cheering me on to victory. None of this changes the fact that life is happening and it will continue to happen, but when you know where to go to get your head and heart right, life ain’t so bad after all……


Dedicated to Genese, Rachel, Danielle, & The Brown’s……