It's In The Music

As I watched the “Celebration of Gospel” on BET, and between shouting (this is when you are filled with the holy spirit, overcome with joy, and just have to let it OUT), and laughing, I realized something….music is such a driving force of our emotional well-being. Think about it: When we are happy or sad, glad, or blue, we are attracted to music that will help us express where we are at that moment. I find this to be particularly relevant in Gospel, R&B, Rap, and Country Western. Yes, I said Country Western! (Don’t judge me! LOL).

As a child, I laughed in church at the “mothers” that would get so full that they would have to shout (see explanation above). Again, don’t judge me, because I wasn’t the only one LAUGHING! LOL. What I couldn’t figure out is why they were so excited. I mean the choir was good, (enough entertainment to keep my 7 year old self occupied), but I had no idea what the Pastor was saying, so I didn’t know what the hype was about. And then, when someone would say “It’s like FIYAH (fire) shut up in my bones”, I’d be like “OMG, that lady is on fire, somebody HELP”. Yeah, I just didn’t get it then, but NOW. If a Donald Lawrence, Kirk Franklin, Fred Hammond, Mary Mary, Hezekiah Walker jam comes on the radio, I just can’t help myself…I have to move, I have to praise Him, I have to get involved! I guess it’s that’s FIYAH that is sending me over the edge. On the flip side, if I’m battling with God and I just don’t get what he’s trying to say, the music will soothe my soul, and help me get back on the right path. If nothing else, it helps me tell God what I want to say, but don’t have the words for. Of course I trust and believe that God knows our hearts, and can hear us even when we can’t speak, but there is nothing like being able to confess to God what is on your mind……talk about freeing yourself! See, I’m about to shout right now at the very thought of it.

And then you have those moments when you are feelin like you were the 5th cast member of “Waiting To Exhale”, and you need hear somebody ask you why it hurts so bad, or when you need to ask that rhetorical question of yourself. You know those moments, when you are speechless at what he did, or when you can’t believe she chose HIM over YOU. That’s when you go through your iPod, and find every song that says “Why did I let you get to me?”. When Beyonce’ released “Irreplaceable”, you couldn’t go 3 mins without hearing “To the left/to the left”….LOL. Not because every woman was goin through, but we found an anthem…one that spoke to our souls….we found comfort in the music. And I’m sure most men have had their “Cause I love you” moments (Lenny Williams)…..when they are so far deep in love, that Lenny is the only person that can speak to them, and help them get through…..it’s that music….it’s there to soothe you and keep you afloat. Personally, when I listen to music, I also listen to myself…how I feel when the song comes on….am I happy, crunk, sad, disgusted, MAD, or pleasantly surprised??? It was that same music that made you realize you had your first crush, or that you were really in “luh” (almost love, but not quite) with your boo. I’m talking about the days when your boo would dub (record) songs off the radio, carefully editing out the commercials, just to show you how he/she felt! Remember how that music made you feel when you pushed “eject” on your tape player (yes, TAPES, I’m an 80s baby, so we rocked TAPES HARD), and put in side A, and listened to the words that your boo was either too scared to too shy to tell you in person. I still have some of those “tapes”…made a few myself….even made some CDs a time or two.

But what’s even BETTER is when your music tells a story. No disrespect to my R&B, Neo-Soul, Rap, or Gospel (because I truly adore you all), but nothing can top a story told in Country & Western. It’s something about those guitar strings that will have my heart strings all in a knot. And even if it’s more upbeat, they still tell a story from beginning to end! My personal faves are Bonnie Rait, Kenny Chesney, Carrie Underwood, Clint Black….they all just speak to me. They tell me how glad they were to see her drive off, or how sad they were that she stayed….with the other dude, not them. They paint a picture, and for someone who is as imaginative as I am, it just feeds me.

But no matter the genre, it’s the music that speaks to me. Sometimes it can help me figure out what’s wrong, because sometimes, I don’t know. It will lead me in the path in which I should go, or even tell me it’s ok to be imperfect for this moment in time. It makes me remember that no, he should not be in my heart because he doesn’t deserve it….and I listen! But it’s that music…..the music that will have you floating on cloud 9 somewhere, for hours on end…..it’s that music that I love so much!

Dedicated to the music lovers everywhere.

1-9-1-3

97 years ago, 22 bold, courageous, trend-setting women set out to make their mark on their immediate community, and the WORLD. Almost immediately, these women sprang into action by marching for Women’s Suffrage. From that moment on, the women of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., have set out to make a difference…to touch the lives of their communities and to leave legacies for future Delta Women to uphold. We have educated ourselves, our families, and others, all while devoting our lifetimes to an organization built on Christian principles.

So today, as we celebrate, reflect, and maintain our illustrious organization, let us not forget that the journey, by far, has not ended. Instead, it has only just begun! There are more to educate, more to uplift, more to carry, and more to mend. We are needed, my fellow sisters, more than we’ve ever been needed before! Our communities need us…..to fill in where others are missing, and to push forward those that don’t recognize their own potential. So yes, my dear sorors, there is still work to be done!

And just maybe, you need to reconnect with your sisters. Maybe the years have passed, and life has changed, and time is more precious than ever….but there is a void….something is missing….that sisterly bond that you formed so many years ago is not present anymore. I encourage you to seek our your sisters, near and far, if only to say “Soror, how I’ve missed you”. I challenge you to find your soror “niche” and become active in a chapter near you…..because again my sisters, our work has just begun….

As I write this, I am so inspired by the works of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. (past, present, and future). I strived for a very long time to become apart of this organization, and on that most special day, when I was done with the ways of intention, and became a Delta, I shed tears of joy…..because I was joining something much bigger than myself. I was a Delta Woman! A woman of class, honor, distinction, and humility. The pride I carry with me daily for Delta is overwhelming….not because of superficial reasons, but because I see the work in action. I see the national initiatives being carried out in my own community…..I see the pieces of the puzzle interlocking to tell our great story.

So, my dear sorors, let us take this day, and further commit ourselves to the name of Delta, and move forward with even greater passion and zeal. Let us keep the spirits of the 22 with us always, and let them guide us forevermore.

Happy Founder’s Day to my beloved Sorors……EVERYWHERE.

Dedicated to memory and works of:

Osceola Macarthy Adams
Marguerite Young Alexander
Winona Cargile Alexander
Ethel Cuff Black
Zephyr Chisom Carter
Bertha Pitts Campbell
Edna Brown Coleman
Jessie McGuire Dent
Fredrica Chase Dodd
Myra Davis Hemmings
Olive Jones
Jimmie Bugg Middleton
Pauline Oberdorfer Minor
Vashti Turley Murphy
Naomi Sewell Richardson
Mamie Reddy Rose
Eliza P. Shippen
Florence Letcher Toms
Ethel Carr Watson
Wertie Blackwell Weaver
Madree Penn White
Edith Mott Young

Consciously Selfish

So, it’s a new year, and like many people, I pondered on whether or not I’d make resolutions, or if I would just opt for “being better”. Initially, I said, “being better”, but as I began to think about my year (especially the last 3 months), I decided that I needed to resolve not only to be better, but to do things differently. There were a lot of unhappy days for me in those last 3 months, and I vowed to never, ever, ever, be in that position again. I had my joy and peace back, God guiding my foot steps, so I was empowered to end the cycle.

The first thing I had to do was analyze everything that I was doing. Church, Sorority, Professional Societies, Socializing, etc…..but in everything that I was doing (outside of church) had very little to do with the upliftment of ME. So yes, I had a list of “to-do” items, but taking care of me was not on the list. I took care of everything and everyone very passionately, but I left myself out in the cold. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise that I ended up with a lot of sleepless nights….more tears than I could wipe away, and a feeling of emptiness. I was pouring out blessings and showering love on everything and everyone I loved, but NOT ME. How could I forget about me? After all, I’m the only me I have…..

I am, by omission, and extremely giving and caring person….to a fault. If there is a need, I want to meet the need, if there is an issue, I want to be the problem solver. That is how I was raised….you help those that can’t (or won’t) help themselves. You go out of your way to bless someone (even at your own expense), and God will bless you. But in all of that, no one ever told me to make sure I take care of myself. No one said “Theryl, I love you, but you must love you MORE than I do”. So I let myself fall…..if it came down to me taking some “me time” or giving that time to someone or something else that was more “deserving”, I always lost. The only time that I would take a break is if I had been stressed to the point of an anxiety attack….yes, it got that bad….I wouldn’t even acknowledge everything I was doing until I was in full attack, asking how I got to that place.

So after years and years of living this way, I’m fed up! I want to be a better person….I want to develop myself into the vessel that God wants me to be. I struggle with this decision, because, again, I am who I am. I can’t NOT be giving, caring, and selfless…but I can be MORE concerned about my own welfare. I can say “no” even when I really want to say “YES”. Most of my unhappiness about me (body image, career, goals, etc) was because I wasn’t spending enough time working on those very things. If I really wanted to have a better body image, I had to MAKE time for that….if I wanted to enhance my career, I had to MAKE time, to do things that would aid in that effort.

In 2010, my mantra will be “Consciously Selfish”. Now that may come of as harsh, or even self-serving, but at this point, I have to be #2 on my list (under God). There is no one else that will put me in that position in their lives, therefore, I must! I pray that when I am tempted to put myself aside, I read this blog…….