21 Days of CHANGE

I’m back at it again…I really love that I’m being faithful to my blog. Last year, I treated this blog as the “side piece”, only coming to it when everything else failed…this year, I’m determined to make it my one and only! LOL. I’m on the heels of a 21 Day Financial Fast with my church family. Every year in January, we embark on some sort of fast to help us grow spiritually. We’ve done traditional fasts where we don’t eat food from 6am-6pm, media fasts (yes, media…ALL MEDIA not work related…thank goodness I didn’t have FB or Twitter then…I would have #FAILED..LOL), and finally, the Financial Fast. Initially, I really didn’t pay much attention to the Fast because I had a lot of things going on. It was in the back of my mind, and I knew we would eventually start, but it wasn’t a priority of mine. All I knew was that I had to shop till I dropped before January 9. LOL. After that, all bets were off. The details of the fast were:
1. Only necessary purchases can be made (meaning if you won’t die without purchasing, it’s a NO!)
2. CASH ONLY…yep, that’s right..no credit card, no debt cards, just good ol’ cash
3. Read and journal daily about the devotional readings throughout the book.

For those of you that know me personally, you know that I have a strong liking to eBay and Amazon (you say addiction, I say “strong liking”..LOL). I am a sucker for a good deal. I RARELY purchase things at the retail price, and if I do, you can bet that it’s a WONDERFUL deal, or it’s super last minute and I didn’t plan properly. I’m not ashamed AT ALL to admit that some of the best purchases that I’ve made for myself and others have come off the ‘net. Someone else’s “stuff” is always my treasure. I love the fact that I can also be “wise” (or so I thought) with my money by saving on purchases I made. So in my head, if I’m being wise about the purchases that I make, spending less than what the item is really worth, and STILL getting great quality, then I’m WINNING right? I’ll take “wrong as hell for $200, Alex!”

As an aide to the 21 Day Fast, our pastor introduced us to “The Power to Prosper, 21 Days to Financial Freedom” by Michelle Singletary. He is an avid reader, so we always have reference points, books, and articles to help us along. As a good steward, I purchased the book, and dove right into this fast. And then, like a thief in the night, I was slapped upside the head with conviction, sadness, and defeat. I realized very early on in the book that the way I lived and treated my finances were the complete OPPOSITE of everything God said about money. Traditionally, I tithed, gave my offerings, and even contributed to our “Bridging The Gap” campaign to enlarge our ministry. But I still had the wrong ideas about money. I treated money as if it was entitled to me…something that I was always supposed to have because I work everyday and DESERVE it. I understood that God was my ultimate provider, but I didn’t treat him that way with my money. God was not first on the list if I got extra money, or if I got a bonus. I infamously made lists of things to purchase or pay off from the last purchase, and God never quite made the list.

As I continued through the book, I realized that a lot of the trials and tribulations that I encountered prior to the fast were direct reflections of my views. God tells us that if we are not faithful over little, we cannot be faithful over much. In other words, why would God bless you financially, with an increase, if you can’t manage what you have currently? DEEP, I KNOW! The other realization I came to was that I was obsessively spoiled as a child. We were by no means rich, but there was very little that I “wanted” for. What I did want for was as a result of my mother just saying “no, you don’t need that”. Otherwise, it was mine for the taking. My grandfather made it his business for me to always feel like his baby girl…his princess. I had all the love that 10 little girls could stand…and the toys too! LOL. As an adult, I realize how much that affected my mentality. In my mind, there was NO LIMIT to the things I could obtain. As long as my bills were paid, and there was a positive balance in my checking account, WHY NOT? This fast helped me understand that I had a mentality of entitlement and excess….MORE, MORE, MORE. I never really knew how I got the things that I got (of course I knew SOMEBODY paid for them, but I didn’t know to what extent they went to secure that purchase), and I never really bothered to find out. Make no mistake, I don’t fault my family AT ALL for how I was raised…they did a wonderful job. All they wanted for me was more than they had for themselves, and I applaud their efforts.

After crying out to God for forgiveness, and asking for a clean heart and a right spirit, I knew I could no longer live the same way. I could not continue to treat money as if it would last forever, and I HAD to make God my 1st priority in everything and in every way. I asked God to show me myself, and to rid me of what needed to go! This is HARD, I will not lie, but it is so rewarding. I am seeing how God works when you are obedient. Because I am denying MYSELF, and following HIM, I am being blessed abundantly. The blessings are coming in all shapes and sizes, yet I recognize them because I’m more in synch with what I’m SUPPOSED to be doing.

So am I forever cured? I’m not sure. Will I continue to purchase on eBay? Absolutely. But now, I examine these purchases thoroughly, and SAVE for what I want. No more impulse purchases (as of now), and no more shopping out of boredom. What I can say is that I’m a work in progress…