This Is The Song That Never Ends.... (NEW LIFE SERIES)

This Is The Song That Never Ends…

Hey yall! I’m back again…blogging feels so good! Life is good…I’m good…everything is just GOOD. There is always just this one thing that’s never quite so good with me. My size….for as long as I can remember, it’s been an issue with me. My very first memory of being different was in Kindergarten. I used to be the tallest kid in my class, so I always stuck out, but I was traditionally bigger than the rest of the girls. Even though I wasn’t teased, I always felt like I was different…like I just wished that I could be the girl that wasn’t noticed….in THAT way. Let me just say, I’ve NEVER been a skinny girl….NEVER…and if God says the same, I NEVER will be. It’s not something I’m concerned with, but I do want to be happy with what I see when I wake up in the morning. Now I also have to keep in mind that I am A WOMAN, so there is a GOOD chance that I will always find something wrong, but for the most part, I want to be content with what I see and how I feel. If I’m being honest, I’ve never been in that space. I’ve pretended to be ok with it, and I’ve forced confidence upon myself, but I don’t think I’ve ever really felt that…it’s a first that I’m looking forward to.

I’m not ashamed to say I’ve tried a little of everything to lose weight….and I do mean a little of everything. At one point, I spent most of my free time trying to figure out how to lose weight. If there was a new fad diet, I knew the ends and outs of it, and would beg my parents to get me whatever I needed. I may lose a few pounds, get bored, and then go back to my normal. Years and years of yo-yo dieting has taken a toll on my body. Because I would do things to manipulate my metabolism, (speeding it way up, and then stopping the diet), I now have Hypothyroidism. In lamens terms, my metabolism does not work on it’s own. With a normal person, they will intake food, and then their thyroid will work to help burn it off to prepare for the next meal. With me, I always feel full (if I’m not on my meds), and never have an actual appetite. I also tend to slowly gain weight, which is the complete OPPOSITE direction that I want to go in. So on top of everything else, now I have to battle a disease that keeps weight ON me? Seriously? Where is the “Punked” cameras???

I’m so sick and tired TO DEATH of this never-ending song. I want to hit the “Next” button, and MOVE ON. The one thing I’ve never done to feel and look better is to commit to a workout routine. Since my move, I’ve actually committed myself to working out and trying to eat in smaller portions. I started with Zumba, which I highly recommend, and now I’m in boot camp, which is hell on earth. Seriously. I don’t know who actually LIKES boot camp, but it is a means to an end for me. I absolutely HATE waking up at 5am and working OUT, but I need this…I need to finally do this….I need this to work so that I can get to the next song!!!!

So I’m putting my deepest insecurity out here in cyberspace, because I’m TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT IT…I feel like if I give it over to the net, then it’s forever gone, and I can move FORWARD. Dedicated to @Foxy_Roxy911 & @GiGi17 LES GEAUX!!!!