My Thoughts on Teenage Pregnancy

So, this blogging thing is really working! I’m back to one of my first loves (writing), and folks are actually reading it! Not only that, people are actually requesting it!!!! (Shout out to Kelly Red for REQUESTING this one…thanks KEL!) I didn’t actually start writing because I was looking for fans or followers, but because there were a lot of things I wanted to get off my chest…more like a release than anything. My latest “burning platform” is Teen Parents. I’ve become a fan of MTV’s “Teen Mom” and “16 & Pregnant”. Not because I’m so eager to see teenagers make poor decisions, but because of the way the network portrays the stories. Just like with any other “reality” show, I’m sure MTV could use a lot of the “things are GREAT since I had a baby at 16” footage, but instead, they show the baby crying while you are trying to study or sleep, not having a social life because that requires a babysitter, or something even more serious…not being able to get your GED because you dropped out of school….because you were pregnant. So first and foremost, hats off to MTV for really “keeping it real” with these stories.

What I really want to tell these teenagers is that YOU ARE WORTH THE WAIT. Now I know I might sound like an after school special, but hear me out: You are worthy, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Before you were yet formed in your mother’s womb, God KNEW YOU. No, I’m not about to start a sermon, but sometimes, it’s as simple as telling someone that they are worthy changes their life! If just one teenager reads this blog, and decides that they are worthy, and worth the wait, then my job is done. Far too often, we don’t give our kids the power to say “no”. We make it easy for them to fall victim/prey to deception. We don’t empower our children with enough love and support. While I have not done clinical studies to support my hypothesis, I’ve mentored enough young ladies to know that what they really need are boundaries, love, and support. They will thrive and bloom far better than expected when given the right tools. But yet, somehow, we are missing the mark. Our sons and daughters are searching for love and validation in the hearts of each other, and not only coming up empty-handed, but they are also bringing forth life, when they don’t even understand it! Imagine being hired for a job that you are severely under-qualified for…..now imagine having to do that job for the next 18-21 years. That’s the predicament our children are in when they become parents too soon.

By no means am I trying to imply that Teenage Pregnancy is the fault of the parent. In fact, I believe the complete opposite. While I do think that parents need to give their children the right tools for life, we are all born with free will. We have the opportunity everyday to make good or bad decisions. So, the “blame” (for lack of a better word) is on the people in the moment, deciding that they are ready to alter the rest of their lives. Now of course, they don’t think about it that way, which is why I wrote it that way. Every time a couple engages in sexual activity, they are attempting to pro-create. It’s that simple. I will re-state it: Every time a couple engages in sexual activity, they are attempting to pro-create. That is the biblical purpose for the act…to bring forth life. So if you engage in something that is MEANT to bring forth life, you are not allowed to be surprised at the ending that includes you, him, and a baby stroller! WAKE UP! You are not invincible! You are not outside, above, below, or around the RULES. Everything applies to YOU! Where do you think they get these statistics about teenage pregnancy? “Other people?”. NO! People who look like you, dress like you, talk like you, and sometimes, go to your school!

And as for the “happily ever after” that you THINK this baby will help you make? I can promise that the outcome you have planned is FAR different than what will actually happen. As my mother used to tell me “He will promise you the moon and the stars, and in the end, it will be the JUDGE that will give it to you!”. Now, you had to know my mother and her story to really appreciate that laugh break (I still LOL every time I say it), but she was RIGHT. People usually have the best intentions until LIFE HAPPENS….and it will. Life will take over, and the fantasy will be over, and the baby will be crying, and you will be out of money, but still needing diapers, and you and him are fighting but don’t know why……BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO YOUNG. You are NOT equipped (physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally) to raise a child, much less co-parent. I know ADULTS who can’t co-parent. There is a reason that it becomes SO HARD to deal with….you aren’t supposed to be dealing with these types of problems at 16…..you are not qualified.

So now what? That’s a good question….but only you have the answer. Just as I wrote my thoughts in this blog, you have the power to write your own story. You have the power of choice….deciding which path you will take. But please know, that whatever you do, and whatever you choose, you are WORTHY.