Warning Labels

It’s been a long time (again), since I’ve been able to blog. I’ve had A LOT going on, as usual, and I haven’t had the time to tickle the keys, and get the literary juices flowing. I have been able to read some really good books, but will get into that at another time. But for now, I want to dig into this thing I like to call “Warning Labels”. One of my besties and I (shout out to Genese who is making that move to Orlando! Love you, ma), were on the phone, and we were discussing how we’ve dated some really great guys……ON PAPER, and then when we dug a little deeper, it was A HOT A** MESS! How can one be so well put together, and not have a thing together all at the same time? The only thing that I could come up with is that these people (I won’t just say MEN because my male readers would go IN on me….like Lamarr…LOL) need Warning Labels! They need a sign on their backs that say something like “Warning, I have all the things you want in man/woman, BUT, I have commitment issues!”, or “Warning, I cook, clean, take care of home, AND I’m successful, BUT, I have MAJOR BAGGAGE”.

Now don’t get me wrong, we all got SOMETHING that we aren’t too proud of…something that we are praying about, working through, being convicted on. But I’d like to think that some of us are man/woman enough to admit that…..”Hi, My name is Theryl, and I’m not great at saving money…Hi Theryl”. But at the same time, I’m not going around trying to pretend like I have this money saving thang on lock. I struggle in that area, and I would give MAD respect to anyone, male or female, who admits their own struggles. But what I can’t rock with, is someone portaying themselves as someone they are not. If you aren’t the one-woman type of man, TELL ME THAT….and then let me make my own decisions. Don’t let me like you, date you, bring you around the family and ‘nem, AND THEN, the other chick calls me asking me if I’m dealing with HER man??? Or, don’t introduce yourself as the good wholesome woman, who is about her business, trying to get her steps in order, ready for that big walk down the aisle, when really, you still SMASHING THE HOMIES behind my back…..No bueno!

I’ve said it before, and I truly mean, that I have A LOT of respect for the men and women who are very honest about themselves. I’ve met men who have said “Theryl, I like you, I think we would be great together, but I’ve never been faithful to any of my girlfriends”….now after I ran in the opposite direction (LOL), I had to tell him how much respect he gained from me. Now we will never be together, but the fact that I didn’t have to read his “Warning Label” was very IMPRESSIVE. This made me think about why some people choose to stay with folks that aren’t doing right (whatever your right is)? Why do they stay with all the drama? My theoretical answer is that they are staying with the dirt they know, versus going after some new, UNKNOWN dirt. At least their “dirt” was honest, and said “yo, I’m grimey, I’m dirty”….they didn’t have to deal with “I’m clean boo, I got you”…and then WHAM, the baby mama calls that you didn’t know about.

For a split second (ok, more like a minute), I thought about dating guys that were less than stellar. Because after all, whatever they were coming to the table with, they would be HONEST about that, and it would be MY CHOICE to stay or to leave…..the honesty is very attractive. It doesn’t always make up for the offense, but it’s that honesty that will lead to a mountain of respect. I decided against the “less than stellar” theory because I don’t want to EVER settle for less than JC (my homeboy for LIFE) has for me…..but I do think we need to make “Warning Labels” a MOVEMENT……beware ya’ll….they are out there….