HELL NAW I don't want to JUST Be Your Friend

Hell NAW, I don’t wanna JUST be your friend! I’ve found myself saying this more and more frequently. A friend of mine used to say this all the time about girls that put him in the “friend zone”, and I’d laugh. Now that I’m older, I realize he had the RIGHT IDEA. In theory, a man and woman meet, form a friendship or other bond, begin to date (court), marry, and live on. Well for me, I have an issue with the friendship part of that story. Yes, I have male friends, and I love and appreciate them dearly. But unless/until I’m married or boo’d up, there will be no more making of male friends for me. Especially if I’m attracted to you, and you are attracted to me. What’s the point exactly? Why are we in this “friendship” knowing that at any given moment, we will want to take it to the next level. Why not start at the next level? I think it’s a BAD IDEA to be friends with someone that you find attractive…because one day, when you least expect it, those feelings will come to the surface, and you might find yourself in a “My Best Friend’s Wedding” type situation…and you are NOT Cameron Diaz…you, my friend, are Julia Roberts.

On one of my recent excursions, my girl invited a guy she knew to come catch up…see her, and hang out. Well, I guess he figured he shouldn’t come alone, so he bought a friend. And friend was handsome! LOL. Just as southern and charming as he wanted to be. So I’m looking at him like, yeah, ok, I SEE YOU. LOL….so yeah, I was a wee bit impressed. During our initial conversation, we talked about the “Friendship”, and I point blank told him, “uh, I have no interest in being your friend!”. He was completely floored by that statement. Well, he proceeded to tell me about this “friend” of his that cooks and cleans at his house, prepares for company, etc. All the things a GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE does, yet she’s just a “friend”. CHILE PLEASE! I let him know quickly, boo, she may be your friend, but that’s not the title she’s after…she’s after YOU. He DID NOT believe me at ALL. So we set out to prove it. Yes, yes, a bit childish, but don’t you dare judge me! LOL. My girl and I met up with that same set of guys later on, and they brought the infamous “friend”, and let me tell you how miss hunny’s face was all the way TURNT UP when she saw us. Initially she was very warm and welcoming, almost like the lady of the house! But as the night went on, sistah girl CHANGED. It went from offering us sweet tea and food, to lookin us up and down, rolling of the eyes…and what not. All of this from a FRIEND….yeah RIGHT. After pointing all of this out, they STILL didn’t concede, but clearly my theory was RIGHT.

At 29, I’m looking to be found, not to be put in the friend zone. I have plenty of friends…great friends…guy friends…all types of friends. What I want is companionship….a marriage..a family. That doesn’t usually happen being just a “friend”. I don’t want to be JUST the chick to watch the game with, I want to be the one you go home to after the game ALSO. Mr. Southern & Charming let me know that a “friendship” is a must, before anything else, similar to what he had/has with Miss Face Turnt Up….and I’ve played that role, and crapped out. I can’t be the hopeful lady in waiting anymore. Hoping and praying that THIS time he will notice that I’m doing far more than I should, and it will hit him that I’m the one. In most cases, they knew from the beginning what your plans were, and played you like a good hand of spades. LOL. So yeah, I’m done with the friendship zone…friendship without the specific purpose of courting is #NoBueno. In the words of one of my favorite rappers, T.I., I’m STRAIGHT!